Heroes and Bullies

I've just been writing in the comments part of RB's blog - but ended up deleting it because I had too much to say.

The question was in light of this news (and others in a town near you I expect) - what would you have done? Would you have walked by and then rung the police or would you have got involved, even if that risked your own life?

I would help, without thinking. I don't think that it is a conscious decision - either you are that kind of person or not. My mother is - I've always been a bit in awe of her, throughout my childhood she would stop to help women on their own get buggies/prams down stairs, rescue lost and bewildered pensioners and be able to tell instantly in a chance encounter she had with a stranger that they needed to talk and she's always strongly believed in the power of a cup of tea - and my OH is. My BiL is a policeman (and before that did a bit of security) and my SiL works with young adults and, like my OH, they seem to be able to control situations without actually doing much.

We once ended up having no contact with a branch of the family because my OH stepped in when his drunken uncle made a charge for my FiL swearing he would kill him (it's a fun family with age old grudges!) - my OH had such presence that half the people there believed his uncle's 'morning after' claim that my OH had punched him, but all he had done was calmly stand in his way.

When we were in Sydney with my sister-in-law a fight broke out on the ferry from the city to where we were staying. My SiL stepped in, calmed the couple down and enlisted the help of others to separate the two groups who had formed, dragged the crew out of where they'd been hiding and called the police who were waiting when we docked. (My OH wasn't that good that time as he was outside on the deck taking photos and didn't know anything had happened until he saw the police).

I get weekly stories of his heroic efforts at work - shoplifters often arrive armed with syringes, claiming they are HIV, yet the staff have to keep things under control so that shoppers aren't affected during their 'shopping experience'.

Oh and, of course we had our New Year's Eve experience - unfortunately the people we sheltered that night were too scared to press charges and we hadn't seen enough to be witnesses.

Granted OH there or not I would probably be the one calling the police - and at New Year's I made tea and stayed with them whilst they talked to the police while my OH went out to find their son.

I will be very proud if my son inherits that 'presence' his father has - he already stands up for the ones being bullied at nursery - but we do tell him that it is wrong to hit people, even if they've hit you or your friend and I will talk to him about gangs and gang culture - I might get him to read this as it had a lasting impression on me. Though he is only 4 so I may change my mind completely when he's in secondary school.