Children say the funniest things!

It's been a weird week chez dougalfish this week.

Monday's are always bad after the now infamous event at the swimming pool. I was dreading returning to lessons but all passed smoothly. I was feeling virtuous as I'd done a workout at the gym in the morning and then managed to swim lengths for 20 minutes whilst he finally paid attention to the swimming instructor. We then returned to the main part of the pool for 15 minutes 'playtime' before heading home. That's when it happened. I suddenly felt terribly sick. I managed to get him out of the pool and into the changing rooms before I had to make a swift exit for the loos, then had to run in again as soon as we were dressed. I'm sure all parents would agree that the one thing you don't want your kids to witness is you being ill - unfortunately halfway back on the 10 minute drive home I had to pull over.

DS: MUM what ARE you doing?

Me: I'm sorry, mummy's not feeling well, we just need to get home.

DS: That's right we'll get home, you can make me something to eat and then you can lie down and have a rest.
(hmm priorities!!!)

2 hours later OH arrives home to find me ensconced in the downstairs loo and a rather irate son on the door step.

DS: Daddy I told mummy she had to make me something to eat FIRST!
(how inconsiderate of me)

Tues am when OH rang him at grandma's house (thank goodness we moved closer to them) to arrange to pick him up.

DH: 'lo dad. Mum's dead.

He wasn't too happy when he saw me later in the day as I roused myself to take him for his pre-school injections.

On getting home and removing the cotton wool pads (that seemed to catch on his clothes every time he moved) to replace with 'magic' plasters (in our house they have pictures they have Winnie the Pooh characters on).

DS: no don't take them off, the needles will fall out.

On picking him up from nursery on Wednesday I found he had fallen asleep - which is very unusual as my son never sleeps. Because his legs were still hurting I was conned into carrying him out to the car.

DS: Mummy I was only having my beauty sleep. Bobby and Will kept making noises but I shouted at them to be quiet because I needed my beauty sleep before you fetched me.
(Bobby and Will are the ones who call him names ...)

On shopping for his friend's birthday present he demanded a £50 piece of plastic. I calmly told him for the 15th time that we didn't have the money to buy him anything.

DS: That's okay you can go to the machine in the wall, it gives you money.
(If only it was that simple :-p)

Our DVD player started making a strange noise and I commented to my OH that it had been used continuously over the last few days as neither of us had the energy to go out.

DS: yes daddy it's because it's been used consecutively ...
(we'll make an editor out of him yet).

Now we've both got our energy back and the weather is awful. thank goodness it's Bank holiday - my OH will be working full time but grandparents will be around for 3 whole days!