Planning a holiday is like a military operation nowadays. Because we are visiting my sis in law ALL of my OH family have rung up with 'can you take ...?' recently. They have been a bit flabergasted at my response of 'no'. They seem to think that as we are taking a 'small person' who will have the same baggage allowance as us that THERE WILL BE LOTS OF ROOM. I don't need to tell you that they either don't have children or it was a long time ago that they did :-)
Because of the stopovers we will be taking 4 flights each of around 12 hours with a gap of at least 3 days in between. Part of the journey will be with British Airways and part with Quantas - this is the start of the problem - we have more baggage allowance with BA and also more hand luggage but the rules haven't been relaxed with Quantas. So although it appears that we have more luggage allowance, we don't, unless we dump half our stuff en route.
These same relatives have been buying cute little outfits for DS to wear on his trip - we have about 30 pairs of shorts for a 21 day trip - and will expect photos! Once you factor in all the suncream, swimming equipment and nappies for bedtime and swimming in the pool I don't think there is going to be much room for carrying things too heavy to post. Not to mention that we will also be carrying the buggy.
With only 4 days to go I'm starting to worry about the flight - not just keeping a 3 year old entertained for so long (his Christmas presents of a Fisher Price FP3 player and a LeapPad Leapster should help) but I keep having nightmares about the toilets. You see after months of struggle our DS is toilet trained and can go without a nappy in the day time but airline toilets are scary for an adult - or it was for me en route to New York when the lights went out and I couldn't get out - let alone a child! The last time we flew with him he was 15 months and hated being changed in the toilets because of the noise. I'm terrified it will undo all our hard work.
We've already decided to take the dummy - the last vestige of babyhood that we've managed to confine to bedtimes but haven't quite gotten rid of yet - for the sheer sake of a quiet life (and I don't think the other passengers would appreciate the tantrums that usually occur when he is denied it).
At the moment he is really excited because he is going to see his auntie and nursery have said that he can take their mascot (a stuffed lion) on the trip (oh great another thing to worry about losing!) with us.
So my next post maybe from our first stop off proclaiming that we're never going on a plane again and are staying there for the duration!
Wednesday, 30 January 2008
Monday, 28 January 2008
Without Wings!
Just a follow up from my post about praise really.
At my DS' swimming lesson today - after 5 mins of cajoling and a promise that I would be really, really proud (and give him a packet of chocolate finger biscuits) - my brave little boy swam a few strokes from the side without armbands!! After a cuddle he said 'again, again, again' (and repeated the exercise about half a dozen times).
Two weeks ago I'd have said it was impossible - and yes I am very, very proud.
At my DS' swimming lesson today - after 5 mins of cajoling and a promise that I would be really, really proud (and give him a packet of chocolate finger biscuits) - my brave little boy swam a few strokes from the side without armbands!! After a cuddle he said 'again, again, again' (and repeated the exercise about half a dozen times).
Two weeks ago I'd have said it was impossible - and yes I am very, very proud.
Saturday, 26 January 2008
Time to Chill
This week I finally cashed in my Mother's Day voucher and spent a day at a health spa with my lovely mum.
It was bliss. We were well and truly pampered - pedicure, massage, 3 course lunch and time to unwind in sauna and steam rooms.
But, true to form, nothing is ever perfect. Mainly the lockers - rather than the coin and key version we are all familiar with in gyms and swimming pools we were given a card with our locker number on and instructions on how to programme them. We had to press several buttons and add our own 4 digit 'personal number' into the mix. I loaded my locker and tried to put in the code, it didn't lock so I tried again, it beeped but didn't lock so I checked the card, tried again and then it emitted a loud, high pitched tone which reminded me of the bit in films before the bomb goes off. After appealing to the assistant for help she declared she'd not seen that before and I'd have to get another locker (which she locked for me).
The blissful day was punctuated with trips to our lockers - to fetch a towel, a book, to check the mobile or to change into a swimsuit - and we usually needed assistance to either unlock or lock the lockers (sometimes both) and we weren't the only ones. You couldn't even give up and leave it unlocked as they automatically locked if it was left closed and unlocked for any length of time and you needed to get an assistant to unlock it again for you. What is wrong with the old key method?
I couldn't quite get my head around wandering round in my dressing gown in front of complete strangers. The first one I was given was a Small when I am most definitely XLarge - in the end I was given an XXXXL which must have been specially made for Geoff Capes to visit and I had to roll it up at the sleeves. After lunch we wandered into a conservatory area to have our coffee and it was littered with sleeping bodies in white gowns, which reminded me of depictions of the aftermath of Roman orgies, well didn't they invent the spa?
I had imagined having a day spent without the worries of everyday life, a little 'me time', where I could be myself rather than someones mum. To an extent that was true but as the place was full of women all of the conversations seemed to revolve around childbirth stories, potty training, tantrums and the naughty step - I could have been at a toddler group really!
A few days later and I have lost the chilled out feeling I gained at the spa, I'm back to the tension headaches and the feeling of being at the end of my tether BUT I do have beautifully painted toenails and a hole in my bank account to remember the day by.
It was bliss. We were well and truly pampered - pedicure, massage, 3 course lunch and time to unwind in sauna and steam rooms.
But, true to form, nothing is ever perfect. Mainly the lockers - rather than the coin and key version we are all familiar with in gyms and swimming pools we were given a card with our locker number on and instructions on how to programme them. We had to press several buttons and add our own 4 digit 'personal number' into the mix. I loaded my locker and tried to put in the code, it didn't lock so I tried again, it beeped but didn't lock so I checked the card, tried again and then it emitted a loud, high pitched tone which reminded me of the bit in films before the bomb goes off. After appealing to the assistant for help she declared she'd not seen that before and I'd have to get another locker (which she locked for me).
The blissful day was punctuated with trips to our lockers - to fetch a towel, a book, to check the mobile or to change into a swimsuit - and we usually needed assistance to either unlock or lock the lockers (sometimes both) and we weren't the only ones. You couldn't even give up and leave it unlocked as they automatically locked if it was left closed and unlocked for any length of time and you needed to get an assistant to unlock it again for you. What is wrong with the old key method?
I couldn't quite get my head around wandering round in my dressing gown in front of complete strangers. The first one I was given was a Small when I am most definitely XLarge - in the end I was given an XXXXL which must have been specially made for Geoff Capes to visit and I had to roll it up at the sleeves. After lunch we wandered into a conservatory area to have our coffee and it was littered with sleeping bodies in white gowns, which reminded me of depictions of the aftermath of Roman orgies, well didn't they invent the spa?
I had imagined having a day spent without the worries of everyday life, a little 'me time', where I could be myself rather than someones mum. To an extent that was true but as the place was full of women all of the conversations seemed to revolve around childbirth stories, potty training, tantrums and the naughty step - I could have been at a toddler group really!
A few days later and I have lost the chilled out feeling I gained at the spa, I'm back to the tension headaches and the feeling of being at the end of my tether BUT I do have beautifully painted toenails and a hole in my bank account to remember the day by.
Wednesday, 23 January 2008
The Power of Praise
The other day I saw the true power of praise. Of course we praise our son regularly - 'oh good boy you've eaten your dinner', 'well done for brushing your teeth', etc. etc. but I suppose these comments have lost their glamour and he barely notices them. (It still makes me laugh when he insists on accompanying me to the toilet and saying 'Well done, Good Girl, mummy!' - thankfully never 'now wash your hands' or 'wipe your bottom'! - always a laugh in M&S ladies'.)
For a few months now we've had a problem with swimming lessons. All week he talks about going swimming and builds himself up into a frenzy of excitement on the actual day. He behaves excellently for the first 10 minutes and then goes into toddler tantrum meltdown - in front of a packed pool - for the rest of the session. Often he calms down for the last 2 minutes and discovers he can actually do what everyone else is doing and then we have meltdown again when I tell him it is time to get out. Last week was a prime example and involved kicking and screaming - on his part - and crying on mine. In the end I dumped him on the side of the pool and stepped away, calmly told him it wasn't acceptable and eventually he joined in with the last 5 minutes of the lesson. For the next three days I couldn't bend my arms at the elbow, as a result of holding him at arms length for so long, and decided that this had to stop.
I resorted to bribery. I told him that there was a big tube (as opposed to a small box) of smarties for him after the lesson if he listened to the teacher and did not shout or scream (or kick). As usual he promised that he would behave - but I've heard that before. The teacher and I also had a secret plan. When he started with 'I don't want to do that' we said 'okay, mummy will do it' - at one point I was doggy paddling up the pool with a woggle under my arms with the other children - I'd got about a third of the way up the pool when he decided that actually he'd like to do that himself. He tested me a few other times but we managed to get to the end of the lesson without a screaming incident and I bundled him up in my arms and said 'I AM SO PROUD OF YOU'.
I've not been able to convey this to his grandparents and his dad well but I could physically see him glow at that remark. It was like he was suddenly filled with a warm coloured light. It's been 3 days now and he's still telling people 'my mummy's proud of me' - his behaviour in general has improved and he's almost sleeping through the night.
Now I'm not naive, I know that we will be back at the battle lines again soon enough but something special happened in that moment - he felt good and he wants more, and so do I
For a few months now we've had a problem with swimming lessons. All week he talks about going swimming and builds himself up into a frenzy of excitement on the actual day. He behaves excellently for the first 10 minutes and then goes into toddler tantrum meltdown - in front of a packed pool - for the rest of the session. Often he calms down for the last 2 minutes and discovers he can actually do what everyone else is doing and then we have meltdown again when I tell him it is time to get out. Last week was a prime example and involved kicking and screaming - on his part - and crying on mine. In the end I dumped him on the side of the pool and stepped away, calmly told him it wasn't acceptable and eventually he joined in with the last 5 minutes of the lesson. For the next three days I couldn't bend my arms at the elbow, as a result of holding him at arms length for so long, and decided that this had to stop.
I resorted to bribery. I told him that there was a big tube (as opposed to a small box) of smarties for him after the lesson if he listened to the teacher and did not shout or scream (or kick). As usual he promised that he would behave - but I've heard that before. The teacher and I also had a secret plan. When he started with 'I don't want to do that' we said 'okay, mummy will do it' - at one point I was doggy paddling up the pool with a woggle under my arms with the other children - I'd got about a third of the way up the pool when he decided that actually he'd like to do that himself. He tested me a few other times but we managed to get to the end of the lesson without a screaming incident and I bundled him up in my arms and said 'I AM SO PROUD OF YOU'.
I've not been able to convey this to his grandparents and his dad well but I could physically see him glow at that remark. It was like he was suddenly filled with a warm coloured light. It's been 3 days now and he's still telling people 'my mummy's proud of me' - his behaviour in general has improved and he's almost sleeping through the night.
Now I'm not naive, I know that we will be back at the battle lines again soon enough but something special happened in that moment - he felt good and he wants more, and so do I
Monday, 21 January 2008
Just say 'no'!
Picture the scene. Been 'at my desk' for 4 hours working on an almost late project. Just broken for a quick lunch before picking DS up from nursery, taking him to get together at his friends house where I've agreed to meet a new mum to our parents group as well as 'look after' another friends' 4 year old and 1 year old before dashing off for a swimming lesson at 4! Phone rings and it's know it all mum
KIA: 'Can you do me a favor?'
ME: ' Sure'
Inner voice: Say no! for once in your life stop being a doormat!
KIA: 'Oh great, I've just done a poster for the group tomorrow but our printer's not working and it needs the new logo that I know you've got could you just print off a few copies and take them the the get together for me?'
ME: 'Erm'
IV: NO! No! NO! you've got 10 mins before you've got to pick DS up, it takes 15 mins to crank up the computer, let alone print it. SHE's got the logo too AND she's been using the printer excuse for 6 months now - remember the fundraising posters?
ME: I can't see it in my inbox and I'll have to crank up the PC to print anything and it's a bit slow and I need to pick DS up in 10 mins.
KIA: 'Oh well you know the sort of thing we need, but could you do it on A5? Thanks, Bye.
ME: Argh why didn't you just say NO!!?
Result was 10mins late to pick up DS from nursery and logo wouldn't print so had to listen to KIA tell everyone how we couldn't have the sign up at the group (which I no longer go to because DS is at nursery) because I couldn't print it - I did point out to a few that I only had 10 minutes notice!
Which reminds me I must ring the new mum and check she's okay and is planning on coming back. KIA was in full force but Super Mum was a little subdued, and I was a little distracted by a 4 year old who was sulking, a 3 year old who was HUNGRY MUMMY! and a 1 year old who can move very, very fast! - I hope we didn't put her off :-)
KIA: 'Can you do me a favor?'
ME: ' Sure'
Inner voice: Say no! for once in your life stop being a doormat!
KIA: 'Oh great, I've just done a poster for the group tomorrow but our printer's not working and it needs the new logo that I know you've got could you just print off a few copies and take them the the get together for me?'
ME: 'Erm'
IV: NO! No! NO! you've got 10 mins before you've got to pick DS up, it takes 15 mins to crank up the computer, let alone print it. SHE's got the logo too AND she's been using the printer excuse for 6 months now - remember the fundraising posters?
ME: I can't see it in my inbox and I'll have to crank up the PC to print anything and it's a bit slow and I need to pick DS up in 10 mins.
KIA: 'Oh well you know the sort of thing we need, but could you do it on A5? Thanks, Bye.
ME: Argh why didn't you just say NO!!?
Result was 10mins late to pick up DS from nursery and logo wouldn't print so had to listen to KIA tell everyone how we couldn't have the sign up at the group (which I no longer go to because DS is at nursery) because I couldn't print it - I did point out to a few that I only had 10 minutes notice!
Which reminds me I must ring the new mum and check she's okay and is planning on coming back. KIA was in full force but Super Mum was a little subdued, and I was a little distracted by a 4 year old who was sulking, a 3 year old who was HUNGRY MUMMY! and a 1 year old who can move very, very fast! - I hope we didn't put her off :-)
What's this all about?
My dougalfish blog is about my working life - which is regularly impinged on by my 'real' life as a mum. This is equally as stressful as work so I've set up a separate blog to contain my musings on being a mum.
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