My son, the exhibitionist

Yesterday will be noted down in our family history as 'one of those days'.

My husband has escaped for a few days sitting by a lake, drinking beer, eating beans out of a can and hoping to catch fish (only to throw them back again).

So I thought son and I could do something 'nice' together. We'd had a strained relationship over the past 24 hours after I'd picked him up from an overnight stay at his grandparents and discovered that my father was now sporting a gash on his forehead sustained when a metal bucket full of sand was flung at him in protest of leaving the park that afternoon.

So it was a hot day and we went swimming. His lessons were cancelled for the holidays but as we were there at around the same time as his usual lesson a few of his friends from classes were there too. We had a great time jumping and splashing and racing up and down the pool. Time got on and '5 minutes more' was repeated several times. I could see he was tired and could barely hold his head above the water so I finally put my foot down and carried him out of the pool. Reaction: SCREAMS.

I quickly judged that the poolside showers would be no good as he'd simply run back to the pool - we'd been there before so I headed for the lockable cubicles. I don't know where my strength came from as he's now almost 3 stone and every time I resort to carrying him I end up with a bad back for a few days.

In the cubicle shower he yelled, repeatably, 'No not that one the other one' in such a wail that I'm sure the other people in the changing room were very intrigued as to what was going on.

And then it happened. I let him out of my grasp for a second and he unlocked the door bounded down the corridor, pushed open the heavy door into the pool area (that he'd previously never been able to open, even an hour beforehand), ran into the pool area and headed down the steps into the warer - COMPLETELY NAKED!

I didn't help matters as I ran after him shouting 'noooooooooo' (in my head we were all in slow motion) though I caught him before he actually jumped in and carried him back. He ceased crying for about 10 seconds when we put our swimwear in the spinner (a ritual that he obviously will hold to even mid tantrum) to dry. Then he started the 'I want a treat' rant which continued whilst we got dressed, out to the car and in the car until he fell asleep just before we got home. I kept my cool until we were home, woke him up and then I let rip.

So somewhere along the line someone will be calling social services but now I look back the sight of my 4 year old's bare behind as he made a dash for the pool was quite hilarious and most people in the pool were laughing. I don't think I'll be able to make the trip on my own again.

If only I could just kick back and disappear for a few days - though a spa with the girls beats sitting in a thunderstorm in the hope of catching a fish (which he did, by the way, so he's very happy).

What does whining get you?

The naughty step has become my friend over the last couple of weeks as we've been trying to reset the boundaries and undo all of daddy's spoiling tactics whilst we were away.

We've also managed to kick the last habit of babyhood - the dummy! To the delight of my friend the speech therapist - unfortunately her foreboding that children who use dummies past 6 months are sure to have speech problems was always proved wrong whenever DS opened his mouth as he spoke early, clearly and frequently. He baffles me sometimes with the things he comes out with. During the period of giving up dummy he was rewarded with various 'prizes' - for example when he now asks for it we can simply say 'but you had your Windmill for your Thomas set, do you want to take that back to the Giraffe shop?' and the whining usually stops.

Usually. Today we've had whinging and whining from the end of nursery - from the second we appeared at the door he was asking for cakes/sweets/gingerbread men. Finally my OH exploded - 'What does whining get you?' in his scariest voice - to which the reply was a angelic smile and 'food!'

Wrapped around his little finger? Of course.